Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Trust Yourself
Time has flown by since my last post. I completed training, and I have been working live missions. I am still amazed by the technology that allows the Air Force to remotely support the soldiers on the ground in Iraq. I work rotating shift work, so I often forget what day of the week it is because my Monday might actually be on a Friday! Sometimes when I am in the dimly lit operations center, talking to the crew, listening to soldiers and pilots in Iraq, typing furiously to people all over the world, watching video feeds, and monitoring four very large computer screens - I sometimes forget that I am back in America.
I regrettably had to miss Destination Johnson. I hope that future classmates had a wonderful time visiting Ithaca. When I saw the photos from DJ, it hit home that I was to return this fall to business school. Surprisingly, I found myself a bit anxious about returning to the Johnson School. I left the Class of 2010 quite quickly, and since then, I have been immersed in all things Iraq. I know that I want a career change. I know the career that I will be pursuing. However, I have military friends and family that continually question my decision to leave the Air Force. All the running, yoga, basketball, and swimming could not erase some form of guilt that developed since I left Iraq.
I had a small epiphany while running intervals late one night.
I am training for a half-marathon. As a former soccer and basketball player, I enjoy the intensity and thrill of high impact team sports much more than simply running. I began to get frustrated with the 1/2 marathon training plans that I downloaded online. So, I met with a personal trainer for one session to help me write a more tailored training plan. I had a long list of questions that I wanted answered. I am a goal oriented person. I train with a GPS integrated heart rate monitor. I like to compete. I am results oriented. I want to see the numbers improve. So I naturally hounded him with questions related to speed, heart rate, and rest period between intervals. At one point, he looked at me and said, "Kima - just stop. You are an athlete. Don't wear that silly watch. Just listen to your breathing and to your body. It will let you know. Trust me; I've done this for a long time, but most importantly, trust yourself."
That night, while running intervals on a local high school track, it hit me. I do know myself. I know where I have been, where I am going, and why I am pursuing a career change. Just like with every sport, every new place I have lived, and every new job I have held, I have adapted. I know that when I return to the Johnson School, I will have the support of an amazing administration and classmates to help guide me towards a career change. I had a fabulous run that night. I have not questioned my decisions and goals since.
I will trust myself.
I regrettably had to miss Destination Johnson. I hope that future classmates had a wonderful time visiting Ithaca. When I saw the photos from DJ, it hit home that I was to return this fall to business school. Surprisingly, I found myself a bit anxious about returning to the Johnson School. I left the Class of 2010 quite quickly, and since then, I have been immersed in all things Iraq. I know that I want a career change. I know the career that I will be pursuing. However, I have military friends and family that continually question my decision to leave the Air Force. All the running, yoga, basketball, and swimming could not erase some form of guilt that developed since I left Iraq.
I had a small epiphany while running intervals late one night.
I am training for a half-marathon. As a former soccer and basketball player, I enjoy the intensity and thrill of high impact team sports much more than simply running. I began to get frustrated with the 1/2 marathon training plans that I downloaded online. So, I met with a personal trainer for one session to help me write a more tailored training plan. I had a long list of questions that I wanted answered. I am a goal oriented person. I train with a GPS integrated heart rate monitor. I like to compete. I am results oriented. I want to see the numbers improve. So I naturally hounded him with questions related to speed, heart rate, and rest period between intervals. At one point, he looked at me and said, "Kima - just stop. You are an athlete. Don't wear that silly watch. Just listen to your breathing and to your body. It will let you know. Trust me; I've done this for a long time, but most importantly, trust yourself."
That night, while running intervals on a local high school track, it hit me. I do know myself. I know where I have been, where I am going, and why I am pursuing a career change. Just like with every sport, every new place I have lived, and every new job I have held, I have adapted. I know that when I return to the Johnson School, I will have the support of an amazing administration and classmates to help guide me towards a career change. I had a fabulous run that night. I have not questioned my decisions and goals since.
I will trust myself.
# posted by Kima McCoy @ 11:13 PM 